I Am Still Alive

This ridiculously sad looking fella could not be more accurate on how I have been feeling over the last month.  Let me first say I cannot believe it has been a month since I have blogged.  How sad is that?!  I am really disappointed that I let it go that long.

The last month has been insanely challenging.  Unfortunately, the road immediately ahead does not seem to be much brighter…

My older daughter (just turned eight on Tuesday) was tentatively diagnosed with absence epilepsy.  We are scheduled to be admitted to Children’s Hospital on the 10th for a 5-day observation (video EEG).  So, we will be released on the 15th (hopefully).  They have decided that they are putting her Depakote regardless of what the testing shows in the hospital.  This medication has serious (as in life-threatening) liver implications, so I am a nervous wreck just about the medication itself.  Challenge #1.

I visited my sports med doctor on the 14th of September…just as a follow up.  However, I mentioned how much my left knee has been hurting again (despite the OrthoVisc injections done in late May)…and that my right knee had started to bother me.  Challenge #2: I was officially diagnosed with osteoarthritis in my right knee, too.  I also learned that my left knee apparently needs to be replaced.  It took me at least a week to even digest that information, honestly.  They are not going to replace it right away (I am 30 years old), so they will be giving me another round of the OrthoVisc (in both knees this time) when I am due in November.  I have no idea how much time I have until they will/must replace this knee, but it makes me extremely anxious.

To add insult to injury…they have placed me back on extreme restriction.  That means no lunging, squatting, jumping, or running.  Even the spin bike kills my left knee right now.  I am barely able to get on the Neil for even 15 minutes.  That, of course, has made cardio nearly impossible. Challenge #3.

To follow all that whining and complaining, though…I have not gained weight.  I also have not lost any.  I still go to the gym four or five days a week.  Some days I do not break a sweat, though.  I am there.  I am working.  But, I feel like I am not really accomplishing anything.  However, I came across a post on Facebook from Shonnie.  It was a picture that said, “the only bad workout is the one that didn’t happen.”  That *really* made me think about how I have not given up.  Despite all the complications and distractions, I have never stopped going to the gym.  That counts for something, right?

Shonnie helped to renew my spirit today, and she did not even mean to.  Go figure.  Inspiration comes from the most random of places…especially when you are not expecting it.

No obstacle is too great when you have the right attitude…and the right people certainly make it easier.  Thanks, Shonnie!

-Erica

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One response to “I Am Still Alive

  1. Awe …. I just saw this. This made my crazy day. :D

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