Random Observations

Here is a collection (in no specific order) containing random observations I have made recently:

1. I cannot jump rope to save my life.  Something so simple.  Something every child can do with ease.  It is hilariously wrong to see me even attempt it.  You may (or may not) have noticed I added “Jump Rope (successfully)” to my list of goals.  I will practice.  I will jump rope (successfully).  I will.  Can you jump rope (successfully)?  If so, do you jump with both feet together or do you “skip” with one foot at a time (like a little girl skipping down the street while jumping rope…to help with the visual)?

2. I must see my doctor about my left shoulder.  I have mentioned it here a couple times.  The stupid thing is still bothering me (it has been about five or six weeks, I believe).  Yeah me.  Not.

3. My ankle seems to be improving rapidly.  I have actually taken my brace off, which is major.  Physical therapy is twice a week, so that is a bonus.  Additionally, I do think my new athletic shoes have helped tremendously.

4. I can feel hip bones, folks!  This was an incredible (and quite comical) day for me.  I cannot recall ever being able to feel hip bones in my life (I am sure I could as a child, but who remembers that?!).  In fact, I was so surprised when I felt “something hard” in my side I did not even realize that is what it was.  (That is the comical part)  I had to have my ex- feel “that mysterious hard thing” in my side to find out…it was my pelvic bone!  You should have seen the look on his face *that* day.

5. More injury…my left knee.  The grinding, popping, and clicking seems to be getting worse (not better as I hoped it would).  So, apparently, when I go see my doctor about my shoulder, we will be having a conversation about my knee, too.  Boo!

6. I have poor posture.  I have been overweight/obese/morbidly obese my entire adult life.  In that time frame I have learned/adapted to sitting with my back curled and shoulders slumped forward.  This did a couple things for me (at the time).  A) Hid my *huge* breasts and helped me feel like they were “less big.” B) Released pressure from my lower spine.  I have a herniated and slipped disc in my lumbosacral area.  So, curling my spine forward prevented those discs from being compressed from all the weight I was carrying.  The problem is now I have trouble keeping my back straight and shoulders back (especially when I am doing certain moves in the gym…like stiff leg barbell lifts…or rows…or many other things).  I must work on my posture, and on my upper back strength.

7. I find I am still pretty consumed by the thought of summer…and bathing suits.  Just thinking about it now I felt my heart kick it up a notch.  Anxiety, folks.  Really.  I would love to just “get it over with” and buy something now.  However, I know that would not be in my best interest because I *will* be losing more weight/inches before summer.  How in the world am I going to get through the rest of winter and spring without going crazy?!  Do you have bathing suit anxiety?

8. Emotional eating is something I still battle with…but I am winning.  To me this is a sure sign of food addiction.  Eating when you are not hungry.  Eating instead when you are _____ (fill in some sort of emotion).  I still find that when I get upset my mind instantly wanders to food.  The really exciting part (for me) is that I do *not* get the food.  Sure, my mind still goes there, but my body and mouth do not.  I find something else to do instead…some high knees (plyo), a hot bath with a book, play a game with my chicklets, etc.  Pretty much anything else to keep my hands (and my mind) busy without food.  It is a daily struggle.  Really.  Are you an emotional eater?  If so, what kinds of food do/did you find yourself reaching for?

9. I need more cardio in my life…and soon.  I have been really kicking it up on the weight-lifting front, but my cardio has waned.  The scale numbers have also slowed to a crawl, which tells me I need to change it up…more cardio!  I am still losing, but ever so slowly these days.  I truly believe that is related to the decline in amount of time I spend doing strictly cardio exercises.  What is your favorite way to get cardio in?

10. An update on my disconnect… I think this is improving.  Not as much as I would like, but I cannot complain about improvement of any kind.  When I look at myself in the full-length mirrors at the gym (obviously fully clothed), I am starting to notice changes in my body.  Thanks, Denise (she made me start working out in front of the mirrors in the first place)!  The only time I really still feel that “disconnect” is when I am naked.  I still have a hard time seeing those changes when nothing is between my eyes and my body (IE. clothes, mirror, etc.).  That will take some more time, I suppose.

11. A goal has been marked off…”Take a group class at the gym.”  Last night was, in fact, the second class I have taken at Fitworks.  They are offering free self defense classes every other Wednesday.  I know these are not “traditional” fitness classes, but at least I am there doing things with other people.  Hopefully this will build my confidence and encourage me to attend other classes (like Zumba or a power class).  Small steps.  Really small.  Do you take classes at your gym?  If so, what is your favorite class…and why?

-Erica

6 responses to “Random Observations

  1. Love it that you are taking self-defense. Now, if you go to any other classes and start to feel like people are being mean, you’ll know exactly how to take them out. 😀

    You are right – awesome that you are not making the jump from thinking about food in an emotional eating kind of way to actually eating. I’m with you. It is hard, but we’re making that change, and getting stronger every time we don’t eat for emotional reasons.

    • Andie,
      I do think the confidence will help me attempt other classes (not saying that I have any intention of taking anyone out, but you never know – LOL). Honestly, I wish I could watch an entire class before deciding whether or not I want to join in (crazy, I know). I just hate feeling like I am the only one who is completely lost and just barely keeping up.

      I really think making myself be aware of eating (by keeping a journal, and by asking myself *why* I want to eat) has helped me *so* much when it comes to emotional eating. The journal helps to keep me accountable, which is important. Stopping to really consider *why* I want food has curbed my emotional eating tremendously. Just not allowing myself to get “swept away” with emotion and remain logical, rational is key. Of course, I hope there comes a time in my life where my mind does not wander there immediately upon upset, but realistically, this may be something I battle for the rest of my life.

      -Erica

  2. I have horrible posture. I think it’s laziness and weakness. My boys slouch and it drives me crazy!

    • I wish I could automatically correct my horrible posture, but all those years of intentionally slouching have proved much harder to change than I thought. Honestly, I did not even notice I did it until my trainer (old trainer) asked me why I was leaning forward as I sat on one of the machines. When I tried to correct it, it actually hurt my lower back (where my disc is injured). Now that I have lost another 40 or so pounds, though, I can sit up straight and keep my shoulders back…but it has to be a conscious effort…and forget about me lifting weights and keeping my shoulders back, up, and tight. Sheesh. That is definitely going to take some time (and serious conscious effort).

      -Erica

  3. You have really progressed, and it is so exciting to see. Well done on attending your first group class. And even though it is ‘only’ a defense you, it is a major step. When I think of my children’s Tae Kwon Do classes, I think that you are brave to attend them 🙂
    Haven’t been to a gym in years – not since my babies were born. I used to love the areobic classes though (the dance aspect of them). Tried skipping with my girls a few years back and was surprised to find that I have not lost the knack. Hopefully it will be the same when I am able to once again join group fitness classes.

    • Colline,
      Skipping is something I haven’t tried in generations either. I am not sure I would still have the knack, though. This ankle (and the knee) really prevent me from “light on my feet.” If I had to guess, they both play a role in my inability to successfully jump rope these days. Who knows, though, and I *will* get better. Someday I will be able to head outside with my girlies all of us with ropes in hand… LOL

      -Erica

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